I am one of many people like you. I am passionate about Horses. This post will be very personal, but this is who I am. This is my story.A story about a girl who became an Equine Masseur despite all of the obstacles in her path.
My love for horses started when I was eight years old and my older sister took me to a Riding School in Poland. I will never forget the smell of horses and the feeling I had when I touched them. It was mixed feelings of love, fascination and fear. It didn’t start well! One of the horses bit me and I ended up with a huge bruise on my arm! But I was a very stubborn little girl and I decided that as soon as I am able to, I will ride horses! I asked my parents if they will support me and they said no. They said ” It’s just another of your
silly ideas and it will fade as soon as you start something else. No money. Four kids and that was it.
End of story… for some…
But as I said I was very stubborn and when I was 12 I decided to help on a yard and earn my lessons. At that time my home wasn’t a nice place to stay. My parents were going through a really nasty divorce and horses were my safe place. They held my head above the water. At weekends, I would start at 10 am grooming horses and finish at 6pm to go home. No one even noticed I was gone. I was learning how to ride and it was ok, but I had few scary moments and my confidence just started to disappear. Rearing horses, charging horses, spooky horses, biting, kicking. People kept saying “you are too soft”! And I tried to be tougher, but I couldn’t! I knew the problem was me. That I don’t communicate properly. So I started to groom horses more than ride them. I loved it. I had my little favourite pony “Herbatnik” (polish biscuit :)) and I was content with that.
And then my parents went on a war with each other and I had to move away. I moved 5 times in 3 years. Miles away from the yard I loved. I would start over and over again. New place, new horses just to move away again. My heart was broken every time and I couldn’t do it anymore. I gave up. Thought about losing it all again was too much for me. It broke me for a long time. When I was 14 I moved to live with my father and started again. Again! I went back to visit my old stables, to find out that if I would stay I would have “Herbatnik” under my care, but my chance was gone. I lived too far (2 hours by bus). At that time my dad became quite rich and he realised how much I loved horses and said “If you will have good grades at the end of high school, I will buy you a horse”. I didn’t get them. In purpose. Some of you could say. “What? How can you not take it?”. I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear the feeling of losing it all again, like I had learned over the years that my parents often change their mind. (I am grateful now as it’s commitment for years if not for life!) I moved on. Trying to forget about it. Soon, I started my studies 200miles away from my family. I earned my Masters Degree in Geology and hoped that with a good job one day, I will have my own horse eventually. But on my terms.
During all those years I realised that my life is not as I wish. Relationships were crumbling. My self esteem was low and I struggled with anxiety. I knew I need to heal myself if I want to have a better life. I started therapy in 2012 and went very deeply into self healing. I moved to Scotland and I started again, wiser and older…
Over the last 10 years I discovered many different ways of healing with energy. Reiki, Healing Codes, TRE, Emotion Code and Bio energy Therapy and started to help people remotely, mainly in Poland. In the mean time I had a baby too! 🙂 and worked on myself even harder. To not pass traumas and beliefs I struggled with in childhood onto my daughter.
Finally in 2019 I came back to riding. I met Charlie, an amazing gentle horse, who stole my heart and I was again coming out of my comfort zone. Then there was Covid and another break. But thanks to that I started voluntary work on a yard in Beith. Learning how to take care of horses, yard duties and all the important stuff which you should know before you have your own horse. In 2021 Charlie passed away and I lost my will to ride again. I tried with new horses but it wasn’t the same. More and more I started to spend time at the stables. Mucking out for 2 hours and grooming some of the horses at the yard. And again. There was one horse, then 2, then 3 and then another one. And I realised that I do it again! Working for 2 hours and grooming horses for another 3h! The feeling when you care about the horse and it’s galloping to you from the end of the field! Just because she knows you will take care of her and give her a groom session 🙂
It is priceless! It took me another year to clarify that I want to do it as a job. Use my hands and make them feel better. Many people over the years said I have a healing touch and horses are reacting to it so well. I had to chose, riding or massage? I think you know the answer 🙂
Finally I became confident enough to start the Equine Sports & Rehabilitation Massage Therapy course. And here I am. After all those years doing what I always dreamt of. I believe it will be the best journey of my life.
Thank you for reading 🙂